Maternity Leave

 I wanted to post this on World Mental Health Day that was on 10^th Oct but could not. However, I feel this will always be relevant.

Maternity leave as opposed to what it seems like, is a very lonely time. Its not a vacation that comes to us in the form of a child. It infact, is a more challenging phase where you take on the responsibility of a tiny human being. I had already experienced this the first time with my elder child but it really hit me the most, the 2^nd time around. Apart from being available for the needs of a new baby 24X7, you also have to now take care of the elder child. The responsibility does not grow up to just 2x but much more than that. Now you have aged also, so not as fit as you used to be. This takes a physical toll on you.

With the prevalence of the nuclear family setup, you are primarily on your own. No matter how loving and caring you are, 24X7 with the baby, you are bound to get mentally exhausted. The things can really get on your nerves when the elder kid is in major tantrum throwing phase. On a daily basis you are going through such an emotional rollercoaster, feeling the immense love and frustration primarily owing to being tired, all the time.

When you do catch a min to breathe and look around, the world seems to be moving forward whereas you feel like being at a standstill even though continuously moving around physically. You start revaluating your life choices and at times resentment and envy towards people around do take over. This also shakes up your confidence, thinking of how you would manage, once you resume after the Maternity leave.

What I am describing above is something that lot of women go through after having a baby. I am not sure if this is what they call postpartum depression but some magnitude of this every mom goes through.

This is also the time where most women take major life decisions such as relocating closer to extended families/friends, quitting jobs, switching careers to be able to be more available for the child. Probably options that might not have been the first choice but they do it for being able to better manage the kids, the family, the home and the career.

It is easy to say we also did it, whats new! Its also easy to say, everyone does it whats new! Its easy to say, it was your choice so why crib! But its also easy to say, I hear you! Its also easy to say, I get what you are going through! Its also easy to say, its difficult but you are doing your best!  

Your words can really make a huge difference for a mom, who did not have time to have even a single proper meal today or haven’t slept for n number of nights or have not had a proper adult interaction for days or have not felt like herself in ages.

Happy World Mental Health