Before sunset and after sunset..

No, it has got nothing to do with the two movies. It is just about what I used to do since morning till midnight when I had nothing to do. Being blank or not having any thoughts about what to do, where to go has always been the worst feeling to me and its more than rare when I get this feeling.

 It has been almost 9 years since I have been staying away from home and in these 9 years I have developed many small worlds of my own. In these different  small worlds, I have my own set of friends who always took care of me, where I have set my own set of rules for myself and my own set of wishes and dreams for my life and what I want from my life. When I completed my college I had to leave a 4 year old life and start my job, I had on my own set up a household for myself in a completely new city after staying and after being completely in love with my place, with the city and with me preparing for a better tomorrow everyday, I joined an MBA college leaving behind yet another life.1 year of MBA gave me another new life which I again fell in love with but soon it had to end again. After which I had to return back to the life which I had left 9 years ago, though for a very short period.

The place felt like a completely new land, with different lifestyle, different believes and different set of rules to be followed. You cannot be sleeping after 8am you should not be up after 11pm, to mention a few basic ones. Though these were always there but I seemed to have forgotten any such thing existed or people could actually be living like that now. But they did, they sure did. Now this was like an actual test for me without any internet connection or for that matter to national newspaper. Nobody of my age to talk to me about some common topics, except for on phone even which sounded boring after a few days. I tried reading but could not even get through half of any of those novels. Tried my hands at cooking but with not many people to eat my experiments I started gaining pounds and thus had to stop even that. As already said the day used to start at 7-7:30am with reluctance and the very first thing used to be switching on the TV but I do not know why the Murphy’s law always has to be true…even that damn TV broke down after 3-4 days so I was bereft of the only mode of media I had...now what? After 1 year of 24*7 internet service, you tend to become so much dependent on Internet and Google that things always feel incomplete without them. The whole day would pass with me just lying down trying to keep myself awake for otherwise sleeping early would again be a problem, and with no current for straight 6 hours during the day, life felt so primal..something which I had even lost memories of. The whole day I would be lying down thinking and thinking and I am not even sure of what I used to think, no recollection. Then one day a thought struck to pen down whatever vague or random thoughts I had...and that was the start of it...my first post during this perfect break. Earlier I used to wait for things to happen so that I can write it down or post on my blog and here I am writing when things have actually stopped happening...let’s see how it goes..:)